Well, I'm not lol.

  Four days of 500mg of Penicillin four times a day, thats a total of 2000mg a day, and if anything, it's gotten worse, much worse. I look like I just gained 20 pounds all in my face. My face, neck, throat, jaw, eye, nose and ear canal are all swollen on the right side. I can barely open my mouth wide enough to fit the penicillin pill, no joke, chewing is out of the question. Int he past four days I have eaten half a cheese burger and half a package of oodles of noodles. I am starving and I am frusturated  and Monday won't get here fast enough. If things aren't any better tomorrow morning I'm going to the ER.

  Ok, so, now you know all of that, my weekend hasn't been going well from the get go. So I have barely been out of bed over the past four days but yesterday I decided I wanted to get out of the house for a few hours so we went to the bar to play pool. Everything was fine at first, I wasn't feeling great but bearable even though my face looked like a marshmallow. So then my friends boyfriend comes in and Tim caught an attitude cause I talked to the guy, it went downhill from there because I'm sick of not being allowed to talk to this person or that person. Lond story short, I split Timmy's left eye wide open. I only hit him once, but I guess it was a fine punch. He was drunk and had an attitude and wouldn't let it rest, and I was in pain and grumpy anyway and I've had months of his crap now and haven't said much of anything about anything. It was just too much for my nerves to handle all at once.

  I hope I get my tax return soon. I want to disappear. My aunt in NY said she can get me a job and I'm sure she's let me stay with her for a while...it's a thought. I'm just stuck in this cycle and I'm sick of it, I want out of this loop. I've hung in there, I've done my part, I gave it my best. I'm afraid that if I give anymore, there just won't be any left. Any what, I'm not sure...energy?...stregnth?...pride? He somehow makes me feel guilty.

  He says "I've supported you and your daughter for two years"...when? The whole time I worked he was unemployed. I spent every bit of the money my mother left me paying his bills, every dime. I spend my grant money paying bills, Bree's child support sometimes pays his truck insurance, and just a week ago I put $600.00 in the bank and somehow there is about $20.00 in there now, mind you there was $400 in there before I added the 600. I don't mind though, I don't. Living isn't free, but it doesn't cost a thousand dollars every two weeks either. All our bills in one month don't total 1000 dollars. A case of beer a day though, that adds up quick, about 100 dollars a week. Then it's $60 everytime he fills the truck with gas, he aint going to work so I don't know how he burns it up so fast, he fills it about twice a week. For all the thinking in the world, i cant figure where it has gone.  

  I've been lied to so many times, and so many times I just took it knowing it for what it was. I can't stand the sneaking and lieing anymore. I've been a doormat for so long I'm not sure I remember how to be anything else.

I've been lied to so many times, and so many times I just took it knowing it for what it was. I can't stand the sneaking and lieing anymore. I've been a doormat for so long I'm not sure I remember how to be anything else.

The forever repeated line of Jenn's blog.

Sunday, March 19th 2006 @ 7:08 PM

Posted by Brahlers Blog:

One more time!

Sunday, March 19th 2006 @ 7:10 PM

Posted by Brahlers Blog:

Let me begin by saying I hope your mouth feels better real soon. After that I do want to say that you do not mess with a woman in pain you just dont if he did not know that before he knows it now. Am I saying it is right ...um no but you know what a person can only take so much and then they loose it. As for the money thing I feel your pain I do and I wonder why it is that I always end up with the unemployed. GRRRR I do not get it. I hope things get better for you because you deserve so muc more than what you are getting